In a move that has shocked absolutely no one with a functioning moral compass, His Majesty's Government has announced a solemn vow to cease purchasing Russian diesel and jet fuel by the time the Christmas decorations are taken down. This is the political equivalent of a man in a burning pub announcing he will stop buying petrol for his lawnmower. The phase-out, slated for the New Year, is being spun as a grand 'sovereignty push' but smells suspiciously like a panicked scramble to distance themselves from the Kremlin's toxic teat.
One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from Whitehall mandarins who have spent the last decade explaining why funding Vlad's war machine was actually a very sophisticated form of diplomacy. The real question, however, is not whether we can survive without Russian oil, but whether the nation's collective liver can survive the celebration parties when we finally do. Bottoms up, and here's to hoping the jet fuel alternative doesn't involve burning the works of Keir Starmer for warmth.
