The world’s most volatile real estate dispute has received another dose of diplomatic theatre. The United Kingdom, in a move that surprised absolutely no one who owns a television or a vaguely functional crystal ball, has reaffirmed its steadfast, unshakeable, and utterly predictable commitment to a two-state solution in the Holy Land. But here’s the kicker: the status quo at Jerusalem’s holiest site, the Haram al-Sharif, the Temple Mount, that geopolitical migraine wrapped in a religious bun, is allegedly under threat.
Under threat from whom? From what? The usual suspects: a mix of religious fervour, nationalist ambition, and the kind of bureaucratic tinkering that makes a Swiss watch look lazy.
The Foreign Office, no doubt lubricated by a truly substandard cup of tea, has issued a statement that reads like a broken record about ‘restraint’ and ‘dialogue.’ But we all know, don’t we? The two-state solution is the political equivalent of a unicorn.
It’s beautiful, mythical, and no one has ever actually seen it. Meanwhile, on the ground, the status quo is a delicate house of cards built by Ottoman firman, British mandate, and Jordanian custody, and everyone is trying to flick the table. The UK’s latest offering is a verbal Band-Aid on a bullet wound.
The real question is: What do we actually expect? Britain can’t even agree on a Brexit deal for fishing rights, let alone sort out the world’s most intractable conflict. But don’t worry, chaps.
The two-state solution will be reaffirmed at the next UN General Assembly, over some truly awful canapés. And the status quo will totter on, like a drunk at a wedding, until the next round of fireworks. For now, the Foreign Secretary has spoken.
The world nods. And nothing changes. Again.
