The Civil Aviation Authority, that hallowed bastion of common sense, has finally stirred from its slumber to investigate Ryanair for the brazen, money-grubbing practice of charging parents to sit next to their own children. Yes, you read that correctly. In a world where you can pre-book a seat for your emotional support peacock but not for your flesh and blood, Ryanair has decided that the familial bond is worth an extra £10 each way.
Indeed, the budget airline, whose CEO Michael O'Leary once famously said passengers would pay to use the toilet if he could, has found a new way to squeeze blood from a stone. The CAA, perhaps roused by the collective wailing of a thousand exhausted parents, is now probing whether this policy violates consumer law. The investigation will examine if Ryanair is being 'transparent' about its fees, a concept that O'Leary probably views as a personal insult.
Meanwhile, parents are left to choose between shelling out for the privilege of keeping their offspring from terrorising strangers or letting little Timmy sit three rows back with a man named 'Big Dave' who smells of cheap lager. Ryanair, ever the defender of free market principles, insists this is just 'ancillary revenue.' But let's call it what it is: extortion with a side of turbulence.
The CAA has yet to comment on whether they'll also investigate the airline's policy of charging for oxygen on request.
