In a story that has more twists than a badly-made pretzel, Indonesian authorities have charged a suspect with the murder of a British tourist via poisoned satay. Yes, satay. The humble peanut-skewered snack has been weaponized, turning a casual street food fix into a final meal.
The victim, a 47-year-old man from Manchester, collapsed after enjoying what he thought was a harmless lunch in Bali. Now, his family is demanding extradition to the UK, presumably so the suspect can be prosecuted in a country where the only thing skewered is public transport reliability. The suspect, a local vendor known for his 'secret recipe' (which apparently included cyanide), has been charged with premeditated murder.
Indonesian police claim the motive was a dispute over a parking space. A parking space. Because apparently, in Bali, you can either park your scooter or poison a tourist, but not both.
The UK Foreign Office is 'considering' an extradition request, which in diplomatic terms means they're currently trying to decide whether it's worth the paperwork. Meanwhile, the victim's family is left with a grief that cannot be seasoned with salt, no matter how many peanuts are thrown at it. One can only hope that justice is served, preferably without a side of arsenic.
As for the satay, it seems the only thing safe to eat now is a full English breakfast, and even then, check the beans for suspiciously shiny coatings.
