In what can only be described as a spectacularly predictable encore to the world's longest-running pantomime, the United States and Iran are once again rattling sabres in the Gulf. A US helicopter, probably piloted by some poor sod who just wanted a nice quiet flyover, has been plucked from the sky by Iranian air defences. The response from the White House was as swift as it was melodramatic: Donald Trump, a man whose foreign policy doctrine appears to have been cribbed from a playground bully's handbook, has vowed retaliation.
Because nothing says 'diplomatic finesse' like threatening to blow things up on Twitter. The incident, which occurred somewhere in the vicinity of the Strait of Hormuz, has sent shockwaves through the international community, or at least through the parts of it that still pretend to be shocked by this sort of thing. Iran, for its part, is claiming the helicopter violated its airspace, though one suspects they'd say the same if a particularly ambitious seagull wandered over the border.
Meanwhile, the UK government has issued a statement expressing 'deep concern', which is diplomatic code for 'we're going to hide behind the sofa and hope it all blows over'. The only sensible response, of course, is to pour yourself a generous gin and tonic and watch the fireworks from a safe distance. Because let's be honest, this is a conflict that has been coming since the dawn of the 21st century, and neither side has the slightest intention of backing down.
Trump wants his 'deal of the century', Iran wants a bit of respect, and the rest of us just want to get on with our lives without the threat of a regional war interrupting our Netflix binge. Good luck with that.
